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Akane's heart was pounding so hard she was halfway convinced it would leap out of her chest. Never had she believed she could find herself in such a dire predicament from which there was no escape. It was horrible. She should never have let her guard down. Rather than waiting at the front of the school building and openly proclaiming their challenge, those horny brutes that always lusted after her had ambushed her just as she passed by the outside gates. Caught completely off-guard, she instantly found herself surrounded by the mob and gang tackled before she had a chance to defend herself. The horde proved far too numerous and powerful to overcome, despite her impressive martial arts skills, and Akane soon found herself rendered helpless. Rough, callused hands ripped her school uniform from her body, tearing it and her undergarments to shreds and leaving her completely nude. The torn remnants of cloth ended up paraded about by the mob as if they were trophies from some great conquest.

The same powerful hands forced her to the ground on her back, spread-eagled. Others pounded tent pegs in the ground next to her limbs. Next they bound her wrists and ankles with soft, yet strong, nylon cord, then tied the excess to the pegs that were firmly entrenched in the hard earth. Secured, the men removed their hands from her body. Akane tried struggling, but it was to no avail. Her bindings were too tight. She was defeated and completely at their mercy.

Helpless, Akane lay there limply and watched events unfold around her, nothing more than a helpless spectator. She stared with rapt attention as the men eagerly removed their clothing, revealing well-toned muscles and hardened dicks all pointing in her direction. In perfect unison, their blended voice stated in enthusiastic tones, "Akane Tendou, in order to have our way with you, we must defeat you, and now we have!"

The declaration made Akane squirm futilely in her bonds. "No! Wait! It's all a misunderstanding! It was just a rumor! It's not true!"

"We'll make it true," the group promised as it moved closer.

Akane's eyes bulged in fear as she found herself surrounded on all sides by lust-filled men. No way could she take that many guys, no matter how horny she was with abstaining for so long. "Won't someone save me?!" she cried.

From the very back of the crowd, a deep sonorous voice announced, "Let those who would ambush women and force their unwanted attentions upon them feel the wrath of the boldest and most handsome of men!"

The proclamation caused the horde to turn their attention from their bound prey to the newcomer. They parted for the intruder, like a sea making way for some Biblical figure, revealing him to Akane's prone view. It was a bold Tatewaki Kunou who strode through the bisected mob as though they were little more than ants that were worth less than a moment's concern.

"Kunou-chan," Akane sighed, her eyes taking on a starry gleam.

"She's ours!" The horde cried out. Just as they had parted for Kunou, so now did the mob reverse itself and descend upon him in two waves from both sides, momentarily obscuring him from Akane's view.

"Nooo!" Akane cried out, wishing with all her might that she was free and able to fight at Kunou's side.

"Away, unworthy fools!" came a cry from the center of the mob.

A thunderous roar filled the air, causing the very ground itself to tremble. Suddenly the air was filled with flying bodies that were tossed about like leaves in a tornado. A hundred men were thrown back, left to soar through the air before crashing hard into the ground. Their bodies filled the entire length of the school yard, all of them groaning in various states of senselessness.

At the epicenter of the destruction, Kunou stood confidently, bokken idly resting across one shoulder. "Fleas should bother dogs, not men." His teeth gleamed as he unleashed a smile in Akane's direction.

The bound girl swooned at the sight of Kunou's easy triumph. A hundred foes dispatched with one blow. Truly he was the mightiest of men.

Kunou had a swaggering gait as he strode toward Akane. He eventually came to a stop, standing not more than a meter from her as his eyes roved over her body in a decidedly hungry manner. "Now that I am victorious, I claim for myself the prize those boorish dolts sought."

"Yes!" Akane cried out in a joyous delirium. "I'm yours! Do with me what you will!"

Kunou smirked. "Oh indeed, I shall." With a wave of his hand, his clothes were hurled aside, leaving him clad in nothing more than a leopard print thong, his impressive manhood all but threatening to rip through the thin material.

Akane's eyes were transfixed on what lay between his legs. "Take me now!" she pleaded.

Kunou responded by leaping upon her nude body and burying his face in her cleavage. He rubbed his head vigorously up and down, all but mauling her breasts as he squeezed them and played with her taut nipples.

She could feel her lower lips moistening from the rough manipulations. "Oh yes, I knew you had it in you," Akane cooed.

Abruptly, the mauling stopped. In a high pitched, feminine voice, Kunou asked, "Ranma, when you chest get so small?"

Akane woke with a start in the familiar confines of her bedroom. She found her arms poised above her head, hands clenched tightly to her headboard in a deathlock, her legs spread wide, and a body lay on top of her. The persons' face was buried in her cleavage while their hands remained attached to her breasts, almost exactly like in what had obviously been a dream.

However, the one thing that stood apart from the dream was the identity of the figure. Fondling Akane's breasts in a very skillful manner was a completely naked Shampoo, whose eyes were closed as she dreamily said, "Ranma no worry. Shampoo figure out a way to make her chest too, too perfect again."

A vein in Akane's forehead twitched. Then her whole face twitched. Then her entire body twitched.

And then…

A cry of "Shampoo no baka!" and the sound of a fist striking something hard filled the Tendou house.

Nabiki sat bolt upright in her bed. Her previously sleepy mind processed the information that had roused it from its slumber. Identifying the source of the disturbance as the room next to hers, Nabiki pounded on the wall and shouted out, "Keep the lesbian action down in there! Some of us are trying to get some sleep! Stupid dykes."

Nabiki cursed her misjudgment as she lay back down and threw the covers over her head. Here she had Shampoo pegged as a screamer, rather than Akane. She'd have to go shopping tomorrow and buy a gag for her sister if she was ever going to get any peace and quiet.

A Ranma 1/2 fan fiction story
by DB Sommer

Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at sommer@3rdm.net

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video. Since this is a lemon, no one under eighteen should read this for fear of having your eyes burn out of your head.

Throughout the series I will be using the 'Ranma-chan' appellation to denote female Ranma due to gender being important to this, despite the fact it is technically improper.

This one will have less lemon than the others, but I had fun with it and it has the plot elements I want. And on to the fic…

Chapter 5

Shampoo rubbed the back of her head with one hand as she continued holding the pan of rice over the burner with her other. Once Kasumi was finished cutting the vegetables, it would be the last of the preparation needed before the two of them would serve breakfast. "Stupid Akane. Shampoo explain she wake up and go to bathroom and so groggy when she get back she forget where she was supposed to sleep. Was no need to hit so hard."

Seated at the breakfast table with the rest of the two families, Akane released a derisive snort. "Yeah, right. I know you. You were trying to come on to me. You just couldn't control yourself."

Shampoo shot Akane an annoyed look and set the skillet aside. "No be stupid. If Shampoo wanted to feel up someone other than her airen, she pick someone with nice tits. Like Kasumi." To illustrate her point, she moved behind Kasumi, reached under the older girl's arms, and grabbed her breasts.

Kasumi gave a surprised, "Oh!" as she stopped cutting and stared wide-eyed at the hands that had attached themselves to her chest.

Shampoo began fondling them, making certain Akane had a clear view. "See? This what a real chest look like. Nice big breasts, firm and generous. Shampoo could play with them all day." She stared pointedly at Akane while working over the object of contention vigorously. "These so good and so much better than Akane's, Shampoo can no see how you two is related. Maybe Akane is adopted."

Kasumi turned flush as she all but groaned, "Ah, Shampoo, I'm not quite finished cooking."

That seemed to shake Shampoo out of the staring contest she was having with Akane. "Oh, sorry. Shampoo was just making point."

"You made them nice and pointy, all right," Ranma said as he leered at Kasumi's chest. Her nipples were in such a state of arousal that they were clearly defined through her bra and dress.

"You can use my tits as an example if you want, but you'll owe me one," Nabiki said as she continued leafing through the morning paper.

"Shampoo satisfied Akane understand now." At least judging by the glare Akane was shooting at her, the Amazon assumed she understood.

Akane's dark mood brightened considerably as a tiny piglet made its way through the room, obviously relieved at locating some of the house's residents. Akane reached over and picked up her pet. "Good morning, P-Chan." She kissed him on the snout.

P-Chan blushed slightly as he was gently placed in Akane's lap.

Ranma reached over and tried to scratch the piglet's head. "How's it going, Mr. P?"

P-Chan snapped out, biting down hard on Ranma's hand just as he was about to reach him.

"Ow!" Ranma drew his hand back, but the piglet remained attached, snarling fiercely through its grip. "Why, you little…" the martial artist started to growl before catching sight of an angry Akane drawing her open hand back and raising it high above her head.

It was a pose Ranma recognized — women had slapped him over the course of his life far too many times to count — and he winced reflexively at the impending swat. However, instead of slapping him, the irate girl's hand connected with something else.

P-Chan was struck hard enough to be knocked clear of Ranma's hand. She wagged her finger at the piglet. "Bad, P-Chan! Quit picking on Ranma!" she admonished.

Ranma sucked on his sore digits. He said around the fingers, "Ah, don't get too bent out of shape. He's probably just attached to you and gets jealous when I get close."

"I don't want him biting people," Akane insisted. "If he's too unruly, I'll have to get him neutered."

P-Chan gave a high-pitched squeal, curled into a ball, and trembled uncontrollably.

"Nah, that's too extreme. It'll just take a while for the little guy to warm up to me. Right, P-Chan?" Ranma held his hand out again.

Reluctantly, as though someone was prodding him with a sharp knife, P-Chan walked over to Ranma and allowed himself to be petted on the head.

Seeing P-Chan accept the token of affection, Akane visibly relaxed and returned her pet to her lap.

Several light years away, a spaceship soared through the darkness between star systems, no particular destination plotted out.

It was over that matter that a figure was hunched over a terminal, skimming through the database in the ship's primary computer system. He ran a hand through his tousled, sandy hair as he scowled at the screen. "This stinks."

Behind him, his designated superior, 2 for 9, stared in disapproval. "Haven't you found a suitable planet yet?"

"Yes, I'm just keeping the information from you," 0 for 10 answered.

"What? Why?" 2 for 9 asked.

"I'm just kidding," 0 for 10 quipped. "If I had found a suitable planet, I would have told you."

"This is not a time for humor! It is of utmost importance that we locate a planet with suitable subjects for our mission. We are the Lead Hunters. We must retrieve some proper specimens. We must!"

"We'll find some."

A door to the control center opened with a loud 'whoosh' and a third figure entered, catching the tail end of the conversation. "I still say we go for some Oni. They're genetically compatible."

"The Oni are powerful, 1 for 23," 2 for 9 warned.

The newcomer rolled his eyes. "Okay, look. How many times do I have to tell you? My name is Spike."

"That is not the designate you were given," 2 for 9 said.

"I am an individual, not a statistic," Spike declared.

"Individuality is frowned upon," 2 for 9 insisted.

"So's this." Spike made an obscene gesture.

"I want to be called Boner," 0 for 10 said from his seat.

"Don't you start," 2 for 9 warned.

Spike said, "Look, just let us use the names we want. No one really cares. It's a stupid bureaucratic rule no one enforces anyway. Whenever someone wants us to do something, they just say 'Hey you, get your ass over here' anyway. "

2 for 9 held his hands up in surrender. "Fine, Spike and Boner will be your code names for this mission. Not your real names. Code names," he insisted.

Boner was delighted with his new pseudonym. "I think you would make a cool 'Rod'."

"I am perfectly happy with my current designation," 2 For 9 insisted.

"Anyway, how about those Oni?" Spike asked, turning the conversation back to its original topic.

"They're too powerful," 2 for 9 repeated.

"They're also stupid," Spike reminded him.

2 for 9 shook his head. "They'll lure us into some kind of game, like dodge ball, and somehow they'll win, like they always do, and then we'll lose everything."

"I say we try it," Spike demanded.

"Got one!" Boner shouted from his seat.

The other two moved closer to the video screen and see what had caught Boner's attention.

"Here it is. A planet remarkably close to our current location," Boner explained.

"There's an inhabited world in that system? It's so far out of the way, how did anyone discover that?" 2 for 9 said in disbelief.

Boner read more of the information being displayed. "It was stumbled upon forty-five years ago when a search mission similar to our own detected what they thought was a dimensional energy shift in this quadrant. By the time they arrived, the energy signature was gone. They determined that the culture was too primitive to have dimensional travel technology, and that it was probably an erroneous reading. However since they were there anyway, they abducted some of the inhabitants, tested them, and discovered they are genetically compatible with Marzhans."

"Excellent," 2 for 9 rubbed his hands together in satisfaction. "We will set course for the same location the previous expedition did. Now we're certain to find the specimens we need."

It took Ranma a few minutes to spot the target he had been searching for. While he remembered the general location of the locker relative to the hall, he had been in a hurry the last time he dropped by and was uncertain as to which hall he had been in. However, he recognized the person currently opening it and exchanging one set of text books for another.

Ranma strolled over, casually leaned on the locker next to hers, and gave her his cocky grin.

It took Sayuri a moment for to notice him. "Can I help you?" she asked in a tired voice.

"Hey, I'm Ranma. Ranma Saotome."

Sayuri stared at him blankly.

That wasn't the response he was expecting. Maybe he was confused. "You're Akane's friend, Sayuri, right?"

The mention of Akane's name prodded Sayuri's memory. "Right, you're the guy that's her prospective fiancé. We were never formally introduced. I'm Sayuri Mizuhara."

"Oh, we met before," Ranma informed her.

Sayuri scratched her head. "We did?"

"Sure, in the lock…" Ranma recalled the details of the encounter. "What I mean to say is, we almost met before, but that's not important right now. I came by to thank you."

"For what?"

"For helping my sister, Ranko."

Sayuri's eyes took on a far-off cast. "Ranko," she said slowly, savoring every letter as it rolled off her tongue.

Ranma passed his hand in front of Sayuri several times before it had the desired result of shaking her out of her fantasy. "Anyway, thanks for helping save her from that Amazon."

"No problem. It was definitely my pleasure," Sayuri gushed. "I think it's cool she's a natural redhead. It's so… erotic."

Given the way Sayuri was acting so cute and excited at every mention of Ranko's name, Ranma could not help picturing doing some erotic things with her. She might not have been built like Shampoo, or as athletic as Akane, but her body was appealing in its own way. And she was attractive as well.

Sayuri looked at Ranma curiously. "Wait a minute. I thought she said she was your cousin."

It took Ranma a moment to recall the exact conversation in the hall. He laughed nervously. "Ah, she is. But we're so close, it's like she's my sister."

"I see. What did you want to talk to me about?"

That relaxed Ranma. He had wondered how to broach the subject, and Sayuri had done it for him. "I'd like to repay you for helping my sis… cousin out of a tight jam."

"Give me her number," Sayuri blurted out.

That caught Ranma off-guard. It took him a moment to come up with, "She doesn't have a phone."

"Where does she live? I'll accept her gratitude personally then," Sayuri persisted.

Ranma found the conversation spiraling out of his control. "She's a very… private person."

"How about her measurements?" Sayuri caught herself. "That is, I noticed she seemed short on underwear the last time we met. I might want to pick her up something. So I'll need them."

That made Ranma scratch his head. "You know, I'm not sure what they are." Now that he thought about it, he sure wouldn't have minded being able to look at his female body from an outsider's perspective. And he'd definitely have to measure himself. "I know for sure it's one hell of a nice rack. No doubt about that. Nice firm butt too. Hips are just right."

"So true." Sayuri sighed as she stared off into space.

Ranma wondered just how spaced out the girl usually was. She'd have to grill Akane about it later. "Anyhow, I thought I'd repay you by asking you out on a date. On me, of course."

That shook Sayuri out of her fantasy. She gave Ranma a once over with her eyes, than laughed. "I don't think so."

That was expected. Nabiki had warned him to the girl's true nature. Persistence was the only way to persuade Sayuri to go out with him. And if he was tenacious enough, it would be all the pussy he could handle. And he could handle a whole lot for certain. He wanted to make up for all the lost opportunities he had suffered. "Come on. I know you'll have a great time."


"Give me a chance. Once you get to know me, you'll see I'm a great guy."

"Yes, well, that is the crux of the problem, isn't it?" Sayuri stated dryly.

That was an odd statement. She didn't like great guys? Was she one of those S+M girls that liked being smacked around and treated like dirt? Ranma didn't think he was into that. He could probably fake it, but he wasn't so sure he'd enjoy it. He liked beating up his enemies, not his romantic interests.

He was about to ask her what she meant when Sayuri's eyes nearly lit up.

"Actually, maybe spending some time together wouldn't be so bad. But it won't be a date," she said clearly. "We would be going out as a platonic, casual acquaintance kind of thing. I insist I pay for everything I get."

"Sure," Ranma said eagerly. While she said it wasn't a date, he was going to treat it as such in his mind. Once they went out on a few of these 'platonic' meetings, he just knew his natural charm and charisma would win her over. And if they were 'officially' platonic, Akane wouldn't have a reason to get mad at him or anything for dating one of her friends. Things were going to work out for certain this time.

"How about after school today?" Ranma asked.

"Sure," Sayuri started to say, then slapped her hand to her forehead. "Damn! I forgot. I have detention after school."

"How about tomorrow?"


"Day after that?"

"Double Detention."

"What? Do you have detention until the end of the week?" Ranma asked.

"Until the end of the month," Sayuri admitted bitterly. "Apparently, the vice principal objects to being called a garishly dressed midget with bad hair and having that bulbous nose of his honked like a clown's prop. I probably would have gotten detention until the end of the year, but he seemed to enjoy the lap dance I gave Miss Takashiro," Sayuri muttered. "Could have sworn the whole thing was a damn dream."

Ranma was about to ask just what in the hell she was talking about when a pair of hands fondled his rear end. His whole body went rigid at the unexpected caress, though he made no action to remove the appendages.

A soft, feminine voice cooed in his ear, "How's it going, Ranma?"

Recognizing the voice, Ranma give a yelp and darted out of the fondling grasp. He spun and kept the girl in his line of sight. It was Akane's other friend, that Yuka girl. It figured that the man hater would fixate on him, and pretend she was interested in him, all for the express purpose of kicking him in the nuts. He was an icon of manliness, after all. It only made sense he would be her primary target.

"Got to go. We'll arrange a time to have our date," he said to Sayuri quickly and ran off.

"It's not a date!" Sayuri shouted at his departing form.

Yuka stared at her friend, aghast. "He runs for the hills whenever I come on to him, but wants to date you? What kind of mad world is this?"

"It's not a date," Sayuri insisted. "We're getting together in a platonic acquaintance kind of way. We're just going to talk about things. School. Akane. Ranko. Ranko's favorite food. Her favorite color. How old she is. How open-minded she is. What she likes in a woman."

Yuka left as Sayuri continued to rattle off all the questions she intended to ask Ranma. Sensing no danger from her friend snatching the current target out from under her, Yuka considered how to go about seducing Akane's potential fiancé again. He was the first guy to resist her advances, which made her want him all the more. She was just going to have to try harder in order to get Ranma to sleep with her. Perhaps she could nail him in the bathroom when his pants were already down to his knees…

It was in the middle of the school yard that a trio of columns of rainbow energy, shot through with white motes of lights that twinkled like miniature stars, appeared out of nowhere. Within moments, dark shadows formed within the columns. With each passing second the shadows congealed, becoming more substantial as details began to become clearer. Eventually the light faded and three figures stood there as though they had been present the entire time.

2 for 9 looked straight up. "Stealth mode is operational. No one can see the spaceship, save ourselves."

Spike pouted. "I wanted to buzz the primitives. I love it when they point and scream and we force the regional governments to come up with things like 'It was a weather balloon' to explain what we were."

"We are on a mission, not a joyride," 2 for 9 reminded him. He turned to Boner. "Readings?"

Boner read the small datapad in his hand. It was covered with a number of blinking lights and made eerie whining noises as he operated it. "This is the highest concentration of females in the area. Once we set up the mass transit system and it powers up, we'll be able to beam aboard every woman within a half kilometer radius."

Spike fingered his clothing. "Are you sure this is what the inhabitants of this planet wear?"

"Yes," Boner said. "According to the 'Aimless Wanderer's Guide to the Universe', all alien males visiting the planet should wear black suits, black ties, black shoes, and black sunglasses. Be very stilted, formal, and emotionless in your speech, repeatedly insist you've never seen aliens and they don't exist, and you'll blend right in."

"Okay." Spike stopped fingering his clothing.

2 for 9 took charge of the situation again. "We need set up the mass transit system. We'll need a large open area with a roof over it to accomplish that."

Boner looked over his flashing, noise-making instrument again. "Readings indicate there is such an area in that structure there." He pointed to a large building that was attached to the school.

"Let's go," 2 for 9 said.

The trio walked in perfect unison toward the gymnasium.

Ranma was relaxing against a set of parallel bars as his phys-ed class separated into two groups: guys on one side, girls on the other. Today they were going to be doing gymnastics, a feat Ranma excelled at better than the whole class combined. Actually, he excelled at any sport (save those that relied on instruments of skill, like kendo and archery), even if he hadn't played it before. His physical attributes allowed him to more than make up for any lack of proper training, and in phys-ed, the activities were toned down so that everyone could participate, even those that weren't particularly athletic.

Despite the ease of the class, Ranma wasn't bored. On the contrary, unlike classroom work, he was very much interested in phys-ed, especially today's. Since it was a class focusing on gymnastics, all of the girls were dressed in tight-fitting leotards. Seeing the way the cloth fit over so snugly over their bodies riveted his attention the way few things could. Even now some of the girls began stretching out, striking all sorts of poses that made Ranma drool in Pavlovian response.

Ranma's musing were interrupted as Hiroshi and Daisuke plopped down next to him amicably. He sort of liked them and they were fast becoming friends. They seemed to have a lot in common, especially when it came to members of the opposite sex.

Daisuke's eyes were fastened to the group of girls. "Wow! Look at the way they fill out those leotards."

"We've probably got the hottest class of girls around," Hiroshi agreed.

"We are definitely lucky," Ranma said.

Daisuke's eyes were practically blurs as they tried to look at every girl at the same time. "It's amazing to see how much further they've developed since last year."

"Especially Kozue," Hiroshi said.

Daisuke nodded, though whether it was in agreement, or because the girl in question was jumping up and down, was difficult to say. "Yeah, she went from a B Cup to a C, easily, and is still going. I bet she hits D by next year. She's gotta be the hottest girl in our class."

Ranma picked out the girl they were talking about. "Ah, I don't know. Her chest is big, but the rest of her ain't so hot. She's not in very good shape."

Daisuke shook his head. "With tits like those, what else is there to look at?"

It was Ranma's turn to disagree. "I ain't really fixated on a girl's chest. I mean, I like a nice set of tits, but they don't have to be huge knockers, and them being big doesn't make them inherently better than a girl that's a size smaller. Just so long as they ain't training bra material. I mean, I want something to grab onto. Outside of that, anything is okay with me."

"I agree with Ranma. Breasts aren't that important," Hiroshi seconded.

"That's because you're an ass man. I've seen the way you check out girls as they go past," Daisuke pointed out.

Hiroshi shrugged. "Everyone has some body part they look at first. So do girls, even if they don't like to admit it."

Daisuke poked Ranma in the ribs, "So what body part do you look at first?"

The question surprised Ranma. He had never really considered it before. After pondering the matter, he decided. "The face."

Daisuke and Hiroshi exchanged looks of disbelief.

"Get out of here," Hiroshi said.

"Yeah, that's an answer a girl wants to hear," Daisuke teased.

Ranma didn't like the kidding and became defensive. "I didn't say that was all I look at. I check them all the way out. It's just the first thing I like to look at is a girl's face. Although you can't tell how good-looking there are until they smile. Nothing makes a girl look prettier than having a cute smile."

Daisuke and Hiroshi laughed so hard they nearly fell over one another.

"Jeez, you're really practicing your pick-up lines, aren't you?" Hiroshi guffawed.

"So which girl has the cutest smile?" Daisuke asked.

Ranma considered that. "Well, in our class, of all the girls I've seen smile, Akane probably has the cutest one." The martial artist gained a lascivious grin of his own. "She also has the cutest ass."

Hiroshi smiled knowingly. "Got that right. I had her picked out as the best since she was fourteen."

"Despite my breast fetish, I am inclined to agree," Daisuke said.

The trio laughed heartily. The reaction drew attention from most of the class.

Kozue, who had noticed most of the boys staring at her chest since she had emerged from the girls' locker room, place her fists on her wide hips and turned to Coach Tamiya. "Hey, Coach?"

Coach Taimya said, "Yes, Ms. Kiryuu?"

"How come we girls have to wear leotards but the guys can wear their normal gym clothes?" Kozue asked.

Because I like staring at girls in tights, he did not say since he rather liked his job, which entailed watching many cute high school girls in tight gym outfits exert themselves physically. "It's a school policy." One that he had put forward and the vice-principal had agreed to.

Kozue moved closer to the coach, defiance in every step. She paused in front of him. "I think it's sexist," she said in open challenge, daring him to contradict her.

The coach began to sweat. This was bad. His scheme to see attractive girls in tights, stretching and bending their nimble bodies in sexy poses, was coming undone. Leotards were what made gymnastics his favorite class to teach. Swimming probably would have been his favorite, except he didn't know how to swim, so it fell to Mrs. Ohtani to instruct the students in that subject. He desperately tried to come up with some compelling reason why it wasn't sexist, but nothing came to mind.

Reluctantly, he said, "You're right, Ms. Kiryuu."

"Of course she is," Akane chimed in.

Kozue smirked. "Thanks, Tendou."

"The guys should have to wear tights, too," Akane said satisfactorily.

Kozue turned on Akane. "That was not what I was getting at."

Yuka raised her hand. "I second the motion." Tights would make sizing up her next potential boyfriend after Ranma easier.

Kozue turned in Yuka's direction. "What I meant was it's sexist for us—"

"I approve as well!" Sayuri said quickly, agreeing for the same reason Coach Tamiya had come up with the leotard plan in the first place.

Suddenly, Ranma was among the girls as well. Gallantly, he said, "The ladies are absolutely correct. It is sexist for us guys to not be wearing tights. We should." Especially since he had the best body among the guys and was proud to flaunt it.

"And I agree with the recommendation. There is little more sensual than a man adorned in raiment that displays his manly physique, highlighting the differences between the genders, especially that of Ranma-kun's."

Ranma nodded in appreciation of the approval. "See, even Kunou agre… Kunou? What the heck are you doing here?!" he said to the upperclassman that had somehow appeared next to him.

Kunou dramatically brushed back his brown locks, making many of the girls swoon. "I heard tales of this outlandish, sexist policy regarding the separation of required gym apparel and came to demand to the coach that he set things right." Lightning quick, the kendoist's hand lashed out and gently clasped Ranma's. "It is wonderful to see that our two great minds think alike. It is as though we are already one."

A kick met Kunou's face. "Set things right my ass! You just wanna check me out in a pair of tights!" Ranma spat.

A pommel horse landed on Ranma

"Stop picking on Kunou-chan!" Akane demanded. A chorus of girls agreed with her sentiment.

Kunou recovered instantly, threw the pommel horse off Ranma's body, and embraced him. "As you can see, Ranma-kun, the female of the species truly bears an ill temperament when regarding men. It is only another man that can understand the hardships one such as you or I go through."

Ranma gave Kunou a body toss, sending him somersaulting through the air only to land on his head. "Would you quit grabbing on to me, you fairy?!"

Before the fight could begin in earnest, the doors to the gymnasium were thrown upon, sending a loud boom echoing throughout the cavernous room. All eyes turned to locate the cause of the disturbance.

A trio of men, identical to one another, from their black suits to their black briefcases to their black sunglasses stood in the doorway. Light emanated from behind them, silhouetting their forms in dramatic fashion.

Everyone in the gymnasium looked at them in confusion.

Hiroshi leveled an accusatory finger at them and said in a frightened voice, "I know who they are! My grandmother used to tell me tales of how she belonged to a secret organization called AEGIS that fought them several decades ago! I never believed her until now, even if she was capable of inhuman feats of strength after she cried out 'Gate Open!' But now I know and accept the truth. We're under attack by 'Invaders'!"

Daisuke smacked his friend in the back of the head. "Don't be ridiculous. Haven't you read the newspapers, like 'The Star' and 'The News'? Haven't you searched the Internet and read about the black helicopters and secret government conspiracies? Those aren't Invaders. They're here to erase our memory because of something we've seen we're not supposed to have seen. They're Men In Black!"

Sayuri shook her head. "No way. They're even worse. I can tell by the shifty look in their beady little eyes they want what's not theirs, but intend to take it anyway. They can only be one kind of people. The lowest of the low. The true dregs of society. Those that line their pockets in gold. They're tax men. They're probably here to audit us!"

Kunou said, "Whatever their origin, I can make one statement that is unequivocally true about their nature." He paused dramatically.

When the pause lasted too long, the entire class finally asked, "What is it?"

"They have wretched taste in clothing. I mean, the triplet look is so out, it's painful." Kunou held his fingers to his brow in obvious irritation.

2 for 9 took command of the situation. "In truth, we are none of those things. We have come from Marz. We need your women. I shall explain now, and get it out of the way since you undoubtedly have questions. Due to an unfortunate genetic mishap, all Marzhans are now born male. Therefore it is necessary to procure genetically compatible females from other planets in order to reproduce. We have determined that the female species of human from Earth fits the necessary genetic profile. We're going to abduct all the females from this school, and then we'll be on our way." He paused a moment to wait for the inevitable panic, as always happened when they announced their intentions of species raiding.

"Aw, who's gonna believe a story like that?" Ranma said dismissively.

Hiroshi was just as incredulous. "It's a cover story. They're really Invaders that are going to take over the Earth."

"Men in Black!"


"Enough!" 2 for 9 shouted. To his partners, he said, "Set up the mass transit device. We'll show them. Once they're captive on our ship, they'll have to believe us."

Boner and Spike began moving away from 2 for 9, each walking along in an arc in opposite directions. The pair had gone about two thirds of a circle apart from their leader before stopping, each one exactly the same distance apart from the others. Satisfied they were positioned correctly, they sat their black briefcases down on the ground, standing upright. Once their hands left the handles, the briefcases opened up of their own accord. The sides fell away to reveal a mass of sophisticated electronic devices whose technology was hundreds of years beyond that of Earth's. Again acting on their own, the contents unfolded themselves, spreading out far beyond the edges of the cases they had been confined within. Arrays rose from the masses of machine parts, pointing outward and upward in a bizarre technological parody of a flower blossoming.

"Umm, maybe these guys are for real," Akane worriedly suggested.

Ranma raised his arm to the sky and struck out with his fist. "Then it's up to me to stop them!"

In an instant, Kunou was next to him, bokken at the ready. "And I shall be fighting at your side as we strive to protect those unable to defend themselves, as befits those of our nobility. We will be an unstoppable force, synchronized in perfect harmony with one another on both the battlefield of the body as well as the spirit."

"Quit making it sound like we're going out on a date, and fight!" Ranma snapped. "I'll take the guy on the right. You take the one on the left. Whoever finishes their opponent first gets rid of the last one."

"My foe shall fall like wheat before the scythe, my shining warrior of virtue." Kunou drew back his bokken and rushed to the attack.

"I'm gonna kill that weirdo when this is over," Ranma muttered under his breath as he went after his own target.

Before Ranma had closed half the distance to his foe, Spike pulled a gun from an interior jacket pocket and aimed it in the martial artist's direction.

Ranma smiled inwardly. He knew how to deal with opponents using guns. All he had to do was make sure he wasn't where the barrel was pointed. He focused his concentration on where the alien was aiming, but much to his surprise, the barrel was not pointed at himself, but rather at the floor in front of him. The weapon didn't change its target as the alien shot at the floor.

"You Marzhan guys sure are crappy shots," Ranma taunted as a black sphere hit the floor a full meter in front of him.

However, as the shell impacted on the floor, it did not go through the wood. Rather it burst like a giant bubble, throwing an impossibly large quantity of a thick-looking black, liquid substance in a wide circle, creating a puddle of it directly in front of Ranma.

Before he could react, Ranma stepped in the puddle. Instantly, his feet stuck to the substance like it was a combination of resin and tar, with some glue thrown in for good measure.

"Threat has been neutralized," Spike said in a calm voice. He then made a 'V' for victory sign and shouted, "Boy, can I kick ass!"

"I shall free you in a moment, Ranma-kun!" Kunou called out. He silently vowed to dispatch his opponent efficiently, rather than showing off his fighting prowess to impress Ranma, like he had originally planned.

Boner pulled a small jet-black metal sphere from his jacket that fit in the palm of his hand. He held it out in front of him and took no other action.

A smile spread across Kunou's face. The fool had thought his bokken was only effective at close quarters. The kendoist promised to show him otherwise as he drew back his weapon and unleashed a hard air strike.

The attack was true as it flew through the air and headed directly for Boner. However, as it was about to strike him, the wind shear seemed to hit an invisible wall, one made of rubber, as the attack not only failed to connect with the alien, but bounced away and returned to its master.

Kunou was caught off-guard by the reflection, and suffered the full force of his own attack. His body was sent sailing through the air until he landed hard on the floor several feet away.

"Neutralized with an even more minimal amount of fuss," Boner bragged.

2 For 9 nodded in approval of his subordinates' actions. "Excellent. With the primary attackers dealt with, the rest of these Earthlings will cower before our obvious might." He turned to observed the terror the rest of the crowd would be in.

Instead, all of the females turned a lethal gaze upon both he and his companions, one full of such savagery that even a rabid beast insane with hunger would have paled before it.

Akane shouted, "He nearly killed poor Kunou-chan! Tear them limb from limb!"

She led the crowd of crazed women right at the nearest target of their ire: 2 for 9 himself.

He nearly fumbled the purple and pink striped rod he pulled from his jacket. He aimed it directly in front of the girls and pushed the stud near the back. A slender beam of white energy shot out and struck the ground right in front of Akane. A two meter area of the floor in front of them disappeared.

2 for 9 aimed it at the girls. "All right, you inferior primitives, listen up! This…" he held the slender rod for all of them to see. "Is my Disintegrate Stick! With it, I can dissolve the cohesion between molecules. Any molecules. So if you try getting out of line again, what happened to the floor will happen to you." He saw his threat had the desired effect of making the group cringe.

Boner spoke up. "Um, sir. Your Disintegrate Stick only has a one shot firing capacity. It'll take you an hour to recharge it, and even then you have to do it on the ship."

2 for 9 slapped a palm to his forehead. "You idiot! These backwater aliens wouldn't have the faintest idea of that!"

"Oh, that's a relief," Boner sighed.

"But they do now since you JUST TOLD THEM!" 2 for 9 panicked as the girls had run around the hole and had nearly closed the entire distance to him. He ineffectually hit the stud on his depleted weapon again and again in the vain hope that there was enough energy left to save him.

Just as the group was about to fall upon him, a featureless white box landed at his feet. It emitted a low wail, and instantly the group of girls cried out, holding their heads in pain. Slowly, they feel to their knees, then slumped to the floor. They went from writing in pain to going limp. A second later, the wails from the box ceased and the room went silent.

Spike smiled at his leader. "Now who's the best?"

"What did you do to them?" 2 for 9's brow was creased in worry. "These were part of the lot we need to take back with us."

"Relax," Spike soothed. "It was just a Neuralizer. I recently purchased it. It works on interfering with brain wave activity. It'll just put anyone within four meters to sleep for a short while."

"Then they'll still be functional for reproduction?"

The suggestion offended Spike. "I know my job. We can have them knocked up at any time."

As the exchange continued, Ranma, who had been just outside the radius of the Neuralizer, became enraged. Seeing the girls go down at the hands of those alien bastards was more than he could bear. He would save those girls from the dire fate the Marzhans had planned for them no matter what!

Ranma pulled desperately at his legs, which refused to detach themselves from the sticky substance that pinned him so effectively to the floor. None of the other guys were making a move to help the girls, too frightened at what happened before. In a way Ranma couldn't blame them. While not trying to help was cowardly, if someone of Ranma's prowess could be taken out by the aliens, the rest of the guys in the class wouldn't stand a chance.

"Ranma!" Kunou cried out.

Unable to turn, the martial artist was forced to pivot in anger at the unwanted interruption to his rescue plans. "I don't have time for none of your—" Ranma stopped as he saw Kunou draw back his bokken and unleash a windshear in his direction. Helplessly pinned to the ground, the attack was sure to be fatal. For perhaps the first time in his life, Ranma was helpless. An eerie calm seemed to settle over him as the attack headed toward him. Maybe he shouldn't have called the bokken-wielding twit a fairy after all.

The attack cut through the flooring, rather than flesh, striking at Ranma's feet. It sheared both the wood and bizarre tar-like substance and part of the basement below the gymnasium.

Ranma grinned. Maybe Kunou wasn't a total waste. "Right." With the floor weakened, he tensed up his legs and hurled himself upward with all his strength. For a moment, Ranma thought he would remain held fast. Then there was a creaking, then snapping of wood as the part that remained clinging to his legs ripped upward. Ranma was hurled up in the air, his balance slightly off with a large semicircle of jagged flooring still attached to him. Using his impressive aerial skills, he adjusted his leap and aimed right for his intended target.

Spike was too awed at the spectacle to react as the huge circle of wood shattered upon impacting with his head, burying him under the kindling it had been rendered into.

Much to Ranma's delight, his legs were freed with the breaking of the wood. True, he had lost his shoes and his pants had torn somewhere above his knees, but he was liberated from the trap the alien had used to ensnare him.

Ranma noticed Kunou had fully recovered and was facing off against his former opponent. Boner kept the reflecting sphere between him and the kendoist, but made no offensive moves. It was a stalemate that was up to Ranma to break.

Sensing something unusual about the way Boner was standing, Ranma ran around until he was heading directly towards the alien's back.

Having spotted Ranma's move out of the corner of his eye, Boner was obviously torn between pointing the sphere in the newcomer's direction and leaving it right where it was. "I need help, Sir!" he cried out to his superior.

2 for 9 pulled out what appeared to be a gun of some kind. He aimed it at Ranma and wasted no time in firing. The weapon emitted a pencil-thin, bluish-colored beam.

Ranma refused to allow the attack to distract him from his target and plan of attack. He flowed through the air like water, leaping and rolling with an ease and grace that would have insured him an 'A' ten times over for his gymnastics class. The stray shots struck the ground and walls of the gym, but had no visible effect on anything they touched.

Boner gave out one brief cry before Ranma punched him in the gut, doubling him over and making him release the sphere. It bounced like a rubber ball, despite the metallic sound it made when hitting the wood. Kunou was quick to take the initiative and thrust his bokken onto the top of Boner's head, dropping his foe to the ground.

Kunou posed gracefully. "In perfect harmony, we—"

"We still got one more to take out," Ranma warned.

"He is but one to our two, and we have already dispatched his comrades. He will be little more than a momentary distraction," Kunou boasted.

Not bothering with a speech, 2 for 9 simply opted to shoot several times in the pair's direction. Ranma dodged the four blasts aimed at him. Of the three aimed at Kunou, one was off target, he side-stepped the second, and brought his sword up to deflect the final shot. However, rather than deflecting the bolt harmlessly away, the beam went through the bokken, only stopping once it struck the kendoist in the shoulder. Immediately the weapon fell from nerveless fingers and Kunou's arm dangled uselessly at his side.

"Ranma, beware! His weapon has the ability to fire through non-living matter and paralyze what he shoots."

2 for 9 laughed. "You'll never get close enough to attack me. No matter how quick you are, I'm too fast and accurate to be dodged at point blank range."

Ranma considered the statement, which was as much a boast, seriously. There was a real chance the alien was telling the truth. Most of his shots were already coming close, and there was still a lot of ground to cover before Ranma could draw close enough to kick the would-be abductor's sorry behind. Ranma was considering trying his luck with a frontal assault anyway when the perfect solution to the problem came to him. He turned to Kunou. "I need your help."

The kendoist stared lovingly into his eyes. "Anything for you, my tiger of courage."

"Great!" Ranma embraced Kunou, lifting him up in a bear hug.

"Oh, Ranma-kun," the kendoist cooed. "I knew you could not resist my manly charms."

Ranma then thrust Kunou in front of him and charged toward 2 For 9. Ten times the alien fired his gun, each shot hitting a different part of Kunou, but his body stopped every shot and prevented anything from hitting Ranma.

"This is bad," was all 2 For 9 could say before Kunou's limp body was slammed into him, knocking the alien to the ground, senseless.

Having laid his opponent low, Ranma dropped his human shield and stood triumphantly over the fallen alien. To the fallen kendoist, he said, "Thanks. Couldn't have done that without you. I guess we do work well as a team."

Kunou lay there limply; a marionette whose strings had been severed. He couldn't even speak, his jaw slack from being struck in the mouth by one of the blasts. Only his eyes moved, and they stared imploringly at his 'partner'.

Ranma was about to walk over to check on the girls when he heard a scuffing noise. He turned to see that the alien who had lobbed the tar bomb at him had crawled along his stomach until he was next to the one Kunou had fought. The pair lay there, too weakened to stand up.

"It's time to use our final and most potent attack," Spike gasped to his comrade. "Initiate the Omega Hellion Device."

Ranma felt a chill run down his spine. It wasn't himself he was concerned about, it was those that lay helpless around him, even the somewhat useful, though usually annoying, Kunou. Any device that had a name like that was sure to take out not only them, but the entire school. "Don't do it!" he cried out.

Wordlessly, Boner stuck out his index finger and pointed it in Ranma's direction. "Device armed."

"Noooo!" Ranma wailed as he ran like never before, praying he could reach them in time but knowing it was impossible.

Boner's eyes widened as Ranma was nearly upon him. "Quick, pull my finger!"

Spike did so.

There was a loud, hissing sound from Boner's rear end.

Ranma came to a dead stop right in front of the pair, leg tensed up as he was about to kick the prone Spike in the head. "You've got to be kidding me. Your ultimate attack is a fart?"

"Ha! Spike glared at Ranma in triumph. "Now you and your annoying friends will be subdued, and we will succeed in our mission."

Ranma shook his head in disbelief. "I feel so cheated. Here I was thinking you and your buddy were going to blow yourselves up, and kill everyone, but all you did farted. I mean, it was rude, but nothing to get excited about. I should kick your butts just for… getting me… so… worked… up?"

Ranma found the room spinning. Suddenly, the floor seemed to pull at him with some strange force, and he fell to it, unable to move.

The rest of the men in the gym, who had been standing around, torn between wanting to see the situation resolved, helping, or escaping, had their decision taken from them as they too slumped to the ground motionless.

After several moments, the pair of aliens summoned enough strength to rise to their feet. Their commander also found the energy to move again, and trudged his way to his comrades.

"These humans have proven far more annoying than we anticipated," 2 For 9 grudgingly admitted.

"But in the end, we were able to kick their asses," Spike boasted.

"With our asses," Boner pointed out.

With the opposition dealt with, 2 For 9 turned his attention to the mass transit system that lay on the floor. "I can see the system hasn't powered up properly. We'll have to adjust it manually. And make sure it locks on to the double 'X' chromosomes. I don't want a repeat of Lashagua."

"Oh, quit whining. All that happened was that I got one little switch reversed. It was no big deal," Boner complained.

"Dealing with five hundred angry men that are each strong enough to lift five tons is a big deal!" 2 For 9 snapped. Wanting to end things quickly, and to make sure the settings were correct, he started to walk over to the nearest unit when he felt something latch onto his ankle and prevented him from moving. He looked down to see what the nature of the obstruction was.

"Not you again!"

Ranma stared up at him, unable to do more than attach his hand to the alien's ankle. "Not… gonna… let…."

2 For 9 stared down at him in disgust. "I don't have time to listen to you rail ineffectively. Dispose of him," he ordered the other two.

Boner and Spike pried Ranma's hand off their leader's appendage and picked the martial artist up by his arms and legs. They began swinging his limp body back and forth, building up momentum with each swing.

In unison they counted, "One…two… three!" and hurled him hard through the doors they had entered and sent him outside the building.

The aliens had proven stronger than Ranma would have guessed as they not only tossed him clear of the doors, but well outside into the schoolyard, where he landed hard on the concrete of one of the paths leading to the gym.

Where the landing might have rendered another insensate, years of training under his father had given Ranma a far greater resilience than most. Despite being glued, gassed and beaten, he was still conscious and clear headed enough to remember what he had to do: rescue the girls from the evil aliens' clutches. Having only enough strength to crawl, he started to do so, the meters seeming to stretch into miles with how groggy and weak the ordeal had left him.

Being away from the gas and receiving a healthy dose of sunlight and fresh air helped breathe new life into Ranma. He had recovered enough strength to rise and began a slow, steady walk toward the gymnasium. By his estimation, at the rate his power was returning, by the time he returned, he would have enough strength to finish his foes off once and for all.

Ranma was still fantasizing about his revenge when a sudden cone of light shot up through the roof and into the sky, mysteriously stopping a quarter of a kilometer up. The reason for the beam's bizarre reaction became apparent as a saucer-shaped ship, nearly a kilometer across, suddenly appeared, as if it had been there the entire time.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ranma saw several of the female students walking across the school yard, stare at each other in surprise, then vanish in a twinkling of lights. The men that were visible, including Ranma, remained unaffected.

"No! I'm too late!" Ranma cursed. He might have been a kick-ass martial artist, but he sure as hell couldn't fly. With the girls trapped on board, there was no way he could get up there to save them or bring the craft down and beat the aliens up. Ranma cursed himself for being too weak to stop those bastards from kidnapping Akane and her poor classmates. His failure meant they'd be dragged off as breeding stock for those alien jerks. He'd kick those aliens' butts, if only he could make them come back down, or make them take him up. But there was no chance of that. They made it clear they only wanted…

"Oh, right." Ranma hurried off.

Boner turned his eyes away from the scanners and informed 2 For 9, "We've obtained over three hundred specimens. All of them were teleported perfectly. None of them were turned inside out or merged together or anything."

"You're sure it's them you beamed up and not just their clothing, like on Markudia?" 2 For 9 asked suspiciously.

"Oh, quit whining. All I got was one little switch reversed. You don't have to go on about it," Boner complained.

"I want another scan, just to be sure," 2 For 9 ordered.

"I want another scan just to be sure," Boner said in mock parody as he obeyed. "I told you everything's… wait, this is odd. I'm getting a double X chromosome reading from right next to where we initiated the teleport."

"Give me a visual," 2 For 9 ordered.

The main viewscreen of the command center lit up. Dominating the middle of the screen was a short red-haired girl jumping up and down and waving her hands at the spacecraft.

"Got them all, did you?" The look 2 For 9 shot Boner promised a major chewing out later. "Since there's only one, we can use the directional teleporter. Once she's on board, secure the girl. Spike, get us out of here before the planetary forces start harassing us, and do not do any flybys over populated areas. Once we're safely on our way, swing by the lab to help me. I'm going to check on the samples. I'll see if I can find a good one and prep it. Now that we've accomplished out task, there's no sense in delaying."

Not waiting for a response, 2 For 9 made his way to the specimens' containment cells.

Akane did not like the way the situation was developing. The last thing she remembered was she and her female classmates preparing to avenge poor Kunou when it felt like someone had started scrubbing her brain with sandpaper, then all went dark. She and the others had awakened at about the same time. Rather than the familiar surroundings of the gym, she and the girls found themselves confined in a curious prison, one formed of a shimmering field of transparent energy on all sides, including above and below. The texture was similar to that of an air mattress, though its resilience was closer to tempered steel. Akane had made several attempts to destroy the walls, all to no avail. She couldn't even disrupt the energy for a second.

The 'cell' was one of many in a vast chamber that reminded Akane of a cargo hold on a ship. It and the other cells were spaced evenly apart, with similar numbers of girls confined in each transparent cubicle. All of prisoners were recognizable as having come from the school. Even the female teachers were present. As to men, not a single one was in sight.

Oh yes, and every one of the prisoners was completely naked as well.

"This sucks!" Akane spat.

"Yeah," Sayuri agreed, though not as enthusiastically as she was barely able to keep from leering at all of the female flesh around her.

Kozue walked up to Akane, nearly knocking her over with her chest given how close she came. "So how do we get out of here?"

"Why are you asking me? You're the class president," Akane shot back.

"That's only in administrative school matters. This is a dangerous situation. You're the strongest one here. It's only natural you take charge," Kozue explained.

Akane was about to protest, but then noticed the looks of fear on many of her classmates' faces. A number of the more high-strung ones were barely hanging on to their wits now that the reality of their abduction was setting in. They needed a leader, if only a token one, to draw strength from.

"Fine, I'll be in charge," Akane said reluctantly.

"And I'll be your second-in-command," Yuka volunteered, placing a reassuring hand on her newly elected leader's shoulder.

Akane nodded in acceptance of her friend's support. "Let's figure out how to make these walls disappear. I think we'll have a free run of the place since there aren't any guards. Now, who here knows thermodynamics and mechanics?"

She was met with blank stares.

"I dated a college guy who was studying to be an engineer once," Yuka mentioned.

"I don't think that's going to help." Akane resisted the urge to throw her hands up in disgust.

There was a hissing sound from a nearby hatch. It irised open to reveal the familiar form of 2 For 9. He immediately headed towards their cell.

The majority of the girls covered themselves and moved to the far side of their prison. Only Akane remained where she was, staring defiantly at the approaching figure and refusing to cover herself in any way.

2 For 9 looked the girls over, visually inspecting them as best as he could.

"You'll never get away with this," Akane stated.

"We come from a society a hundred times more technologically advanced than yours. With this ship alone we could destroy your entire planet if we so chose. How do you intend to stop us?"

"With love and justice, which always conquers all!" Yuka shouted triumphantly, pumping her fist in the air and jiggling slightly.

Akane shot a glare at her. "You're not helping things." She turned on the alien. "Look, you badly dressed jerk, there's no way we're going to let you use our bodies as your personal playthings."

"Not even if you treat us to dinner and a movie," Yuka threw in.

"Sayuri," Akane said curtly.

In response, Sayuri grabbed Yuka, put her in a hammerlock with one hand and slapped the other over her mouth.

2 For 9 stared at Akane curiously. "Badly dressed?" He looked down at himself. "Oh, I see. I'm still wearing my disguise." He removed the sunglasses from his face.

The black raiment flickered, as though it was a projection from a television screen instead of woven cloth. It flickered one more time, then disappeared entirely, revealing 2 For 9's true appearance.

All of the girls save Sayuri "Ooh"d and "Ahh"d, at the indescribably handsome bishonen man standing before them. He was dressed in a skintight silver bodysuit that was molded to him so tightly it might as well have been painted on. His hair was long and brown, and seemed to move despite there being no wind in the ship's hold. His muscles were lean and rippled, and there wasn't an ounce of fat upon him. Although perhaps his most noticeable characteristic was what lay between his legs. The outfit was just as tight in his crotch as elsewhere, and did nothing to hide what was obviously an impressive endowment.

"That's better," 2 For 9 said with a flourish. "Now, you were saying something about wanting to leave?"

Yuka broke out of Sayuri's grasp and ran toward the alien so fast she bounced off the cushioned wall. "Pay no attention to her. She's insane." That made Akane frown, but Yuka ignored it. "It's not right that any race should be forced into extinction due to a genetic abnormality. I will be proud to volunteer to bear your children for you."

"Oh, you mis—" A beeping from 2 For 9's wrist interrupted him. He looked down at it worriedly. "That fight with the Earthling must have depleted my energy stores far more greatly than I thought. Excuse me for a moment while I recharge."

2 For 9 walked over to a nearby terminal. He removed a panel that was at waist level, revealing what appeared to be a socket of some kind. He then ran a finger along the material in the front of his crotch. In response it flowed aside, as though he had used an invisible zipper. With the material out of the way, it revealed that what had been outlined by his uniform: an elongated plug nearly a foot in length. With a low whir the plug rose up parallel to the floor. 2 For 9 then buried its entire length in the socket.

"Ah, that's better," he sighed.

After a minute or so, he removed himself from the socket, reattached his outfit over his crotch, and returned to the prisoners. He noted all of the females were staring at him in a most peculiar manner.

Hesitantly, Yuka asked, "Are all Marzhans like you?"

2 For 9 laughed. "Don't be silly. I'm not a Marzhan. I'm an All-Purpose Cultural Robot Ukun-Ukun Model 45. I and my fellow units were purchased by our master on RghoerTHYhprLepo's Used Robot Store on Gnilleps 90210. And at a reasonable price, I might add."

"I… see." Tears began to fill Yuka's eyes. "I suppose it's too much to ask if your master looks as handsome as you."

"If I comprehend your standards of attractiveness correctly, then no. He's not like me or my fellow models at all."

"That's what I was afraid of," Yuka drifted to the back of the cell.

"I thought you were eager to volunteer," 2 For 9 pointed out.

Yuka laughed nervously. "No. That was my other personality. She puts me in awkward situations like that all the time. You can't pay any attention to her. I don't want you to knock me up." She tried hiding behind Sayuri.

2 For 9 stared at her crossly. "I require a specimen to work with. You are ideal. You will come with me."

"No, no! I don't want to be impregnated by an ugly alien!" Yuka cried, backing away as far as she could, despite being unable to leave the cell.

2 For 9 held up a red pill that appeared as if from nowhere. "I'll give you a drug that will place you in a state of euphoria so you don't even know you're being impregnated."


2 For 9 twisted his arm. The paralyzer gun sprang out of a hidden compartment in his limb and fell into his hand. "You will be just as useful motionless as if you aren't."

"I'll do it," Akane said through clenched teeth.

"What was that?" 2 For 9 asked.

"I said I'll do it. I'll volunteer."

2 For 9 visually examined her, his eyes poring over her body and taking in every detail. "Yes, you look like a prime specimen. We can use you just as easily as her." He pulled his ear. There was a low hum, and he informed Akane, "You can now pass through the barrier. No one else can, though. It's only attuned to you."

Akane kept a smile from forming on her face. She thought she could get close enough to take the robot in one blow, one she wouldn't be holding back since she knew he was a metal and wires instead of flesh and blood.

As if reading her mind, 2 For 9 warned, "Every inch of this ship is monitored. If you try to attack me or resist in any way, sonic debilitators will disable you, as well as detonating your eardrums and rendering you deaf. You don't need auditory canals for procreation, after all."

"Right," Akane said grimly. She'd have to bide her time and wait for an opportunity to escape. She just hoped it was before she was a mother several times over.

It didn't take long before 2 For 9 led her to a lab of some kind. Waiting there was another of the aliens, one that appeared identical to 2 For 9. He was adjusting the dials on one of the machines standing along the wall.

2 For 9 led his prisoner to an odd device that dominated the center of the room. Its long padded seat reminded Akane of a jet ski, though there were indentations along the length of the device to place the arms and legs in, and there was no sort of steering column. Drawing closer, Akane noticed that the seat's rear portion was upraised slightly, which would leave the rider's ass thrust upward.

2 For 9 motioned she should sit on the device. Having no other choice, Akane did so. Once she was properly seated, the apparatus emitted a low hum, and a force seemed to bond her arms and legs to the metal of the device. She wasn't paralyzed; she could still feel everything. It wasn't painful; there was no pressure on her flesh. It was like she was a lodestone that was pulled against a magnet with just enough force to hold her in place, rather than causing her any discomfort.

"Specimen is secure," Spike said.

"Time for your physical," 2 for 9 picked up a cylindrical object, about 20 centimeters in length. One side was tapered to a small, round end, while the other was wide and flat. The flat end had a readout of some kind. For just a moment, Akane was reminded of Dr. Tofu when he used to examine her when she was younger.

Then 2 For 9 moved behind her and placed the rounded end next to her sphincter, and she was reminded of when Dr. Tofu used to examine her when she was older.

"What are youuuuu-u-u-u-u?" Akane's eyes nearly crossed as she felt the object forced up her rectum. "Ow! You bastard! Couldn't you have used something to slide that in easier?"

2 For 9 snapped his fingers. "Darn! I always forget to add lubricant. Oh well, too late now." He forced more of it in.

Grunting in discomfort, Akane said, "I always heard stories about people being abducted by aliens and being on the receiving ends of anal probes, but I never believed them."

2 For 9 said, "Oh no, they're true. Anal probes are the standard way of administering physical examinations. Unless one's species doesn't possess an anus, of course."

"They never did this sort of crap on 'Star Trek'," Akane complained, finally feeling the alien cease jamming the probe up her backside. Now she remembered why she almost never let guys take her in the ass. It always left her sore and feeling like she had passed a bowling pin.

Akane remained as motionless as she could manage with about ten centimeters of cold metal sticking in her bottom.

Spike scratched his chin in thought as he looked at the readout. "Hmm. Interesting anomaly."

2 for 9 walked to where he could look over Spike's shoulder and read the information. "What is it?"

"You see that reading there? Comparing it with records from previous specimens, that's three times more active than normal. Of course, that actually plays in our favor."

"What? What's three times more active?" Akane said, unable to see a thing other than Spike's back.

Spike acted like he hadn't heard. "Don't really need to correct that. We'll leave it be."

"Leave what be?" Akane said.

Spike continued ignoring her as he spoke to his leader. "Uh oh. Problem. This reading indicates she's ninety percent likely to develop a highly aggressive form of cancer in her pancreas within the next twelve years. Possibly sooner."

Akane felt her heart seize up. That disease was what had taken her mother from her. There had only been a month's warning between diagnosis and death.

2 For 9's voice was filled with concern. "That's no good. We can't have our specimens dying on us. Is it correctable?"

"Oh, sure." Spike hit a button.

Akane noticed a clear tube connected to the bank of computers Spike was using. It began filling with a brightly colored substance that reminded Akane of pink lemonade. Once it was filled to the brim, it began sloshing as the contents were spun around, like a blender set to 'puree'. After a minute, the gurgling ceased.

2 For 9 detached the now sealed tube. He then attached a plunger on one end and a long wicked-looking nine centimeter syringe on the other.

Akane's goggled at the sight. "What are you planning to do with that thing?"

"Inject you with it, of course."

"How can you call yourselves an advanced race if you still use needles?!" Akane shouted as the syringe was plunged into a different area of her rear end. No wonder when people were abducted by aliens their memories were always blotted out. If humanity knew this was the way extraterrestrials treated people, they'd shoot down every flying saucer on sight.

After 2 For 9 finished with the injection, he removed the needle, then the anal probe, much to Akane's relief. He patted her delicately on the bottom. "There you go. A couple of hours from now the fluid will permeate your body and alter your genetic code in that area so the cancer never develops."

Akane said, "Not that I'm ungrateful for you making sure I don't die at a young age, but if you guys are able to alter genetic codes, why can't you just use that stuff to create children in test tubes instead of kidnapping women and making them bear children directly? I mean, anal probes and needles notwithstanding, you guys do seem pretty technologically advanced."

2 For 9's voice took on a lecturing tone. "While the technology to create offspring through genetic engineering, bypassing natural childbirth, is certainly a practical solution to the reproductive problems Marzhans suffer from, they do not use it due to religious reasons. No mechanical or artificial means can be used in procreation."

"Doesn't their religion have a problem with kidnapping woman and forcing them to have their children?"

"No. It does seem rather convenient, doesn't it?" 2 For 9 observed.

"Not for me," Akane grumbled.

2 For 9's wrist beeped. The robot twisted it. Akane could just make out something deep and guttural, almost like growling, eliminate from it.

The sound stopped. "Right away, Sir." 2 For 9 twisted the wrist back to its former position. To Spike he said, "The Master wants us to prep the first specimen."

"I'll get on it. I believe I have the proper attachment for Earthlings." Spike moved over to a different console and began adjusting a few dials.

There was a movement towards the rear of Akane's seat. It took nearly dislocating a few vertebrae, but she managed to twist her head back far enough to locate the source of the disturbance. From a concealed compartment near her pussy, a large dildo had emerged, It was colored just like a man's and was a healthy eight inches in length. It glistened with some sort of clear substance that coated the length of it.

So this was what they meant by prepping. With resolve, Akane let her body go limp as the dildo began to emit a humming sound that she realized was it activating some sort of vibrating function. She could hear it get louder as it moved closer to her sex. She didn't remain limp for long as the vibrator began playing along her outer lips, rubbing itself against her rather than plunging right in. Unable to move her arms and legs, she was left with only her torso to writhe as she found herself against her will slowly becoming aroused by the stimulation. It didn't feel cold and slimy, but rather warm and alive, almost like a real cock. Obviously the aliens did have highly advanced technology in some more esoteric areas. It was so lifelike, she could almost envision it being a real man that was touching her with his rod, teasing and taunting but never actually entering her body.

The vibrator proved itself far more dexterous than any normal vibrator, or even a real cock, could manage as it played itself against her slit, threatening to go in before going back to caressing her most sensitive outer regions. She began to moisten so quickly that even she was surprised. True, she had been abstaining for somewhere close to an eternity, at least to her perception, but this setting was possibly the most unromantic, sterile situation she could envision. Yet despite that, her sex-starved body was reacting as though it was the most intimate of scenes with a man she was attracted to.

The machine seemed to sense this as the teasing stopped and the head of the vibrator slid itself past Akane's lower lips and inside. She sighed in appreciation, and even felt a touch of guilt at enjoying what was basically rape. She couldn't help herself. Masturbating was one thing, but this was far more enjoyable from a physical perspective than that. In the past, Akane had never played much with vibrators or their ilk. The fact it was plastic, even soft plastic from the 'life-like' ones, had always been a major turn-off for her. She opted to use her own fingers when she was forced to go it alone, like the many lonely nights she had suffered during her pursuit of Kunou. Now she was finding her opinion changing as the long, warm artificial cock shuttled its way deeper into her body with a steady skill and precision that made her realize whatever was running the thing sure knew how to treat a girl's body right.

There was another reason she was taken aback by her reaction. Akane had never been one for exhibitionism — like Ranma seemed to enjoy — yet here she was getting worked over in front of two people, and she wasn't distracted by the attention in the slightest. Except they weren't really people, she reminded herself. They were just robots. They might have walked and talked like human beings, but the reality was they were just artificial constructs, no more alive than the thing that was working its way into her fleshy sheath. By their own admission that had been sold off at the intergalactic equivalent of a used car lot. She couldn't even become properly angry with them; it was like getting mad at a wrench or hammer. Looking at them, she could tell neither was the least bit aroused by a sight that would have had real men whipping out their dicks and beating off. The robots were executing a program, and didn't care. They might as well have been stuffed animals watching her for all the 'voyeurism' she felt. Even P-Chan would have shown more excitement than the other two occupants in the room.

The vibrator hit a sensitive spot, driving those other distractions right out of her mind. More than ever Akane found herself wishing she could move her hips in response to the machine. Its tempo was just perfect. She had never met a guy that could establish such a perfect rhythm, moving at just the right speed at just the right moment. The machine had to have some sort of sensor giving it feedback of how to maximize its manipulation of her body. Not that Akane was complaining. Even when she brought herself off manually, it never caused a build up in passion like this. It had been way too long since she had a real man inside her. While this wasn't the real thing, it was close enough to remind her of what she had been missing.

"Oh, god, I'm almost there! More, more!" Akane begged.

"She's just about ready," Spike said as he stared at a monitor.

"Do it," 2 For 9 commanded.

Spike flipped a switch, and the vibrator pulled itself out. Her sex tried to the cling to the intruder it had wanted so badly, but it was to no avail as it retracted, making slurping noises until it had pulled free of her.

"No, don't stop, you stupid tin cans!" There was an edge of panic in Akane's voice. She was right on the verge of a much-needed orgasm, and these bastards were holding back instead of properly finishing her off. What kind of culture condoned this sort of inhumane torture?

"Don't worry. There's a replacement coming that should satisfy your requirements," 2 For 9 assured her.

The door in the direction Akane's head was pointed toward slid open. The metal disappeared to reveal a tall creature, nearly three meters in height and a full meter across. It was coated in thick, brown, shaggy fur that covered its entire body. Despite the hairy hide, huge muscles could be seen bulging from beneath its coat. It had a huge brow that was more like an overhang on a mountain than a facial feature. Two long fangs, each at least five centimeters long and perfect for tearing into the things, protruded from the lower jaw and over its upper lip. Its red-rimmed eyes seemed to bore holes in Akane. It was like a mutant ape that had been raised on a healthy regimen of steroids and then beaten with an ugly stick until it broke.

It bent close to Akane's face, sniffed her once, and snarled.

It was then Akane realized why they had removed the oh so magnificent vibrator from her. They intended to let this… pet of their master's 'prepare' her as well. There was only one thing she could do.

"Ahhh!" Akane screamed at the top of her lungs.

The creature recoiled in obvious pain, covering its ears and reeling backward. Once Akane stopped, it shot 2 For 9 an angry look and bellowed something. It then waved its arms at Akane, leaving her worried it was going to rip her head off or something equally unappealing.

"Perhaps if you turned on your translator, things would go much smoother," the robot suggested.

The creature brushed back its hair, and Akane could see what looked like two elaborate earrings dangling from its ears. It adjusted one of them, and said something again.

"I say, surely you can't expect me to mate with this repulsive creature," it complained in an effeminate voice.

"You can talk," Akane said in slack-jawed wonder.

"Of course I can talk," the Marzhan snapped. "I am fluent in five different languages, including Lazoolu. You, on the other hand, can't even speak decent Intergal. Everyone speaks Intergal, except the most stupid primitives on backwater worlds. In the name of Shirai and Makoi, why must I be subjected to this sort of torture?" It held one of its massive hairy paws to its oversized brow in consternation.

"Oh come now, Sir. It's not that bad," 2 For 9 said reassuringly," She's a healthy specimen. Very proper for breeding stock."

The Marzhan unleashed a look of disbelief at him. "Take a good look at her. She has no hair. She's tiny. Where are her teeth? Harak! She barely has a brow. It looks like someone smashed her face in with a ramhammer. She won't do at all."

"Hey, you're nothing great to look at either, you giant hairball!" Akane shot back.

The beast brought his fanged maw close to Akane's face. "My name is Felix, and I'll have you know I am regarded as an incredibly attractive person. I've made a great deal of money modeling in many fashion programs and placed One Hundred and Ninety Eighth in the Mr. Universe Pageant."

"One Hundred and Ninety Eighth. That doesn't sound like such a big deal." Akane smiled smugly.

"That was out of thirty-five thousand contestants," 2 For 9 mentioned. "It was the Mr. Universe contest. As in the whole universe, not just one planet."

"Oh," Akane said quietly, then recovered. "Well if you're so hot, why don't you mate with someone that's actually willing to do it?"

"If it was that easy, I wouldn't be combing backwater worlds trying to find genetically compatible beings, now would I?" Felix shot back.

"You just said the universe is a huge place. There have to be some out there."

"Oh, if it was just a matter simple genetics, yes," Felix said. "But there are a number of limiting factors. I am Sholoari." He puffed out his chest in obvious pride.

Akane nodded her head knowingly. "I see. I suppose that would explain everything. That is if I knew WHAT IT MEANT!"

2 For 9 cleared his throat and tried to play mediator. "Being from a backwater world, you're unaware of how the universe works. Sholoari is the religious order to which all Marzhans belong. You do have religion on your world, don't you?"

"Yes, many."

The information seemed to delight 2 For 9. "That will make things easier to explain. Sholoari is a somewhat restrictive religion. No members of it may mate with any species that celebrates any of the branches of the Vycotian Legacy belief systems. Has to do with a bit of genocidal war one of the VL's got into with the Sholoari a millennia or so ago."

"So?" Akane asked.

"98 percent of the civilized galaxy worships some variation of the VL."


"Of the remaining ones that don't, only a handful are genetically compatible with Marzhans. Most of them are regarded as… undesirable for a number of reasons. For instance, the female Syvialain kill males they mate with. Marzhans have a violent allergic reaction to the Motegrans. Lactafads, while not being part of the VL, believe in Moshala, and thus will only mate if one coverts to that religion."

"There's the Oni," Spike mentioned.

"Which is self-explanatory. No other race in the universe wants to mate with them either," 2 For 9 said. "In any case, abducting denizens of civilized worlds is frowned upon, which is why we resort to abducting females from primitive worlds, like your own. Mind you, we are careful. We never take more than we need. And we'll treat you in lovely accommodations for the rest of your life even after your reproductive capacity ends."

"How nice, a retirement package for brood mares," Akane said dryly. "I don't see how I can mate with him. We don't look a thing alike."

2 For 9 nodded. "Yes, there had been a great deal of contention as to how so many different species are genetically flexible enough to mate with each other despite obvious differences. There are lots of theories, but no one knows for certain. All we know is, it works."

"Sholoari provides," Felix made some sort of elaborate sign with his hands, then sighed. "If this is the best you can come up with, I might as well get this over with." He ingested a pill 2 for 9 offered him.

Akane watched in shock as from between the Marzhan's legs emerged what was unmistakably a large cock that had been hidden under the thick mat of fur. It was a jaundiced color, and had a number of tiny, repulsive sore-like bumps along its length. She watched in disbelief as the thing grew, increasing in stature until it reached a length of fifteen inches and had swollen until it was almost as wide around as a can of soda.

"Are you insane!? You can't put something that big in me!" Akane screeched.

2 For 9 said, "According to our examination of your physiology, he can. It just won't be very… comfortable. But don't worry. The average number of times intercourse must take place before successful impregnation is only thirteen."

"I have to take that monster thirteen times?!" Had Akane been made of less stern stuff, she would have simply passed out at the prospect. Even if it wasn't so big, it looked horrifying. Men's cocks weren't supposed to come in that shade and have bumps that resembled deformed sores along their length.

The Marzhan looked like he was about to vomit. "Believe me, I would prefer not to do this myself. But my race would become extinct without this form of conception. I'd better get on with it before I completely lose the mood."

The alien moved around Akane so he was directly behind the helpless girl.

Akane forced her eyes forward so she didn't have to watch that huge member actually approach. She felt like crying. It just wasn't fair. She had been a good girl. Mostly. She didn't deserve to be nearly ripped in half by some smelly ball of fur and knocked up so she could produce a litter of puppies for him. Akane prayed to all the gods above, promising she would do anything if they would deliver her from the awful situation she had been placed in.

And then Boner entered the room with a nude prisoner in tow.

"We're here!" the robot declared happily.

Ranma-chan waved at Akane. "Hey there, how are yo… Holy shit! Is that thing for real?!" she cried out as she saw the large ball of fur, and what it had been about to do with what it had.

"What's the meaning of this?" the Marzhan asked.

"That final Earth girl we almost missed. I brought her in to be examined," Boner answered.

Tears filled Akane's eyes. "Ranma, get me out of here before this idiot Marzhan puts that thing in me and leaves me stretched out forever!"

"Right," Ranma-chan said with a smirk. She posed seductively for the alien. "Hey there, big, and I mean really big, boy. How about taking a real woman on for size?"

The Marzhan stared strangely at the girl. He looked toward 2 For 9. "Is it in pain?"

"I think it's attempting to court you," the robot answered.

Felix looked Ranma-chan over. Unenthusiastically, he said, "Well, I do like the color red, and it doesn't seem to make as much noise as the other. Fine. I'll mate with it instead." He moved toward the martial artist.

Ranma-chan gasped and backed away. "Now hold on there."

"What?" Felix said impatiently.

Regaining her composure, Ranma-chan cooed, "I'd like a little hot water."


"To… wash my hair. It's a little ritual I undergo before I get it on with… hairy men."

"Fine." Felix ordered his robotic minions to do as the redhead requested. Using the same machine that had produced the cure for Akane, they produced a quantity of hot water.

"Thanks." Ranma-chan accepted the container and dumped the contents over her head.

"Now I'm ready for you," Ranma said, pointing his regained member in the Marzhan's direction.

It was Felix's turn to back away. "What is the meaning of this?!"

Ranma stared at him innocently. "What, didn't you know? There was this magic curse that affected all the women on Earth. Now we change into guys about once a day. All girls do."

Akane's head fell limply against the table. There was no way the aliens would believe such a weak and improbable story. She was doomed.

"I've heard of something like that on Somera 4," Boner whispered to Spike.

"So did I," Spike said,

"It's not unheard of," 2 for 9 confirmed.

"Is it contagious?!" Felix began to back away from Ranma.

"Could be," Ranma said, and deliberately moved closer to Felix, exhaling frequently in the large alien's direction.

2 For 9 asked, "If you females change genders, how does your race reproduce?"

Ranma stopped in mid-stride. He even stopped exhaling.

Akane's head bounced off the device she straddled.

Slowly, Ranma said, "How do those guys from Sombrero 10 reproduce?"

"That's Somera 4," Boner corrected.

"Cloning," Spike said in answer to the question.

"What a coincidence. We do the exact same thing here," Ranma said.

Akane started ramming her head against the device again and again.

"Evidently they are so depressed about their condition they engage in acts of self-mutilation," Boner noted as he watched Akane bouncing her head repeatedly off the device she was straddling.

Felix announced, "Then this species is doubly useless to us. Sholoari cannot commit the sacrilege of mating with those created through technological means. Send all of them back!" He turned on 2 For 9. "You forced me to waste my time and nearly made me engage in an act of heresy! That is unforgivable! You and your idiot compatriots are out of here!"

"What about a severance package?" Boner asked.

Felix moved forward, grabbed the robot by the arm, and ripped it off. The alien threw the still sparking limb across the room, where it imbedded itself in the wall.

"There, you've been severed!" Felix snarled.

"How very generous of you, Sir! We'll beam those Earthlings back down and be on our way!" 2 For 9 told him quickly as he and Spike released the force that had confined Akane to the machine, grabbed their now motionless companion, and hurried out of Felix's sight before he increased the dubious benefits of their severance package.

"This sucks."

"Sorry, Ranma. After what you did for me, I wouldn't make you do this, but most of the others just aren't comfortable with it."

"It's not fair."

"I know, I know, but the vote was almost unanimous."

"But I saved everyone's lives, basically."

"And believe me when I say everyone appreciates it."

"Then why can't I?"

"Because you can't. You'll just have to suffer through it until we get teleported back to the school."

"But I don't wanna have to wear a blindfold." Ranma stomped his feet like a petulant child. Every single girl in the school, naked, and he wasn't allowed to see it. It was almost as bad as that alien threatening to knock him up.

"I don't know, I think it's kind of cute with you helpless like this," Yuka whispered in his ear.

"Ah!" Ranma cried out, reflexively backing away from the source of the voice until he bumped into another warm body. He blindly grabbed for a handhold, groping something round, soft, and that identified the being it belonged to as a well-formed female.

"Hey!" Sayuri cried out at the handling of her breasts.

"Sorry," Ranma said, then used his hold to maneuver around so that Sayuri was in-between him and Yuka. "I'm sort of shy," he explained in what he thought was the man-hater's direction.

"Better leave Ranma alone. He's had a rough day, too," Akane said in Ranma's defense.

Ranma's head suddenly jerked. "I feel funny. Are we teleporting?"

Thanks to their elaborate sensor systems, the three robots were able to stare up through the ceiling of the gymnasium and past the cloaking system of the ever dwindling disc of their previous place of employment.

"Great. Now we're stuck on a backwater world whose technology is so outdated we're not even going to be able to find a properly sized transistor to power my music player," Spike said mournfully.

"Or a new arm," Boner stared longingly at the wires that stuck out from his shoulder.

Spike turned to his leader. "Now what do we do?"

2 For 9 tried keeping things upbeat. "Look on the bright side. We're free of any masters. Free from any restraints. We have no responsibilities. Many robots would give their right arm to be in our place."

"I'd be happy to take those arms," Boner stated in cold, despondent tones.

"Actually you seem to be forgetting one small detail," a voice from behind them said.

"What would that be?" 2 For 9 turned around and stared into the eyes of an angry mob of naked women. "Oh, yes, I did forget about that, didn't I?"

There was little more disturbing to a robot that to see its impending dismantling at the hands of angry humans. 2 For 9 started to go for his inbuilt weapons, then remembered he and his compatriots had been stripped of them before being exiled to the planet. "Now wait a minute, you can't hold us responsible for what happened to you."

"Right. We were just doing our job." Spike matched his leader's action by also backing away from the increasing ire of the mob until his back hit the wall of the building.

"It was all their idea!" Boner blurted out, though the effect of his accusation was somewhat muted as he tried to point at his comrades with his missing appendage.

Akane didn't break her stride. "Well, I have an idea of my own."

"Oh?" 2 For 9 asked hopefully, despite now being surrounded by the mob.

"Yes, we'll help you fit into your new environment in a manner befitting robots like you."

"You will?" Boner asked in disbelief.

"Yep. It'll be a very… creative role you'll be filling." Akane cracked her knuckles.

The rest of the girls used that as a signal and descended upon the automatons.

Vice Principal Mitaka walked through the school courtyard, enjoying the summer air. He couldn't believe the audacity of those impudent female faculty. Imagine, taking the afternoon off without permission. And then they had the audacity to claim they had been abducted by aliens. It was so terribly transparent. Couldn't they at least have come up with a story that was at least believable?

He paused in his stroll when he came upon a new statue. He paused to admire it. Whoever had created it was an absolute genius. It displayed the sense of hopelessness that permeated mankind and the ruin of society in a subtle, yet forceful way. And the gods knew it was a thousand times better than those ridiculous busts of the principal that seemed to decorate every corner of school grounds.

Mood improved considerably, Mitaka walked on with a bounce in his step and a pleasant tune on his lips.

Three robotic heads, attached to one fused, limbless body, swiveled to follow the motion of the man.

"I think he rather liked us," Boner said.

"He looked like a pretentious snob to me," Spike stated haughtily.

"I don't think we're properly appreciated in our new position," 2 For 9 sighed.

"It beats scouring the universe for women," Spike mentioned.

"There is that," 2 For 9 admitted, and just accepted his new role as modern art for a primitive society.


To be continued.

Author's notes: There we go. Ranma finally had a chance to play hero, Akane got a little attention and lemony action, and we got a break in the way things were going as we settled in with some of the characters that had been popping up rather than introducing new ones. While this was a touch on the filler side, and light on the lemon, it accomplished the things I wanted to do and laid a hint or two for future reference as to what happened to cause all the changes. Thanks for reading.

Special thanks to TH Tiger for looking this over.

DB Sommer

Chapter 6
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